Paraphrase much? It’s a good book!

Gotta check this out. The Aussie Bible!

Message for Mary (Luke 1:26-38)
When Libby was six months gone, God sent the same angel’this Gabriel bloke’to a backblocks town called Nazareth, in the Galilee shire, to a nice young girl who was engaged to the local carpenter, Joe Davidson. Her name was Mary.

The angel said to her, ‘G’day Mary. You are a pretty special sheila. God has his eye on you.’Mary went weak at the knees, and wondered what was going on.

But the angel said to her, ‘Don’t panic, don’t chuck a wobbly. God thinks you’re okay. You’re about to become pregnant, and you’ll have a son, and you’re to call him Jesus. He will be a very big wheel, and will be called the Son of God Most High. God will give him the throne of his father, your ancestor, King David, and he will be in charge of the whole show forever.’

‘But how’? said Mary. ‘Joe and I have done the right thing, we’ve never’ well, you know. I mean to say, I’m still a virgin.’

The angel answered, ‘Leave the mechanics up to God. This is heavenly stuff. God’s Spirit will come upon you, and the Big Brain behind the Big Bang will manipulate the necessary molecules to make it happen. So this little kid of yours will be as special as it’s possible to be, and he’ll be called God’s own Son. Look, even Libby, your old cousin, is preggers’at her age! God can do these things. In fact, Libby is in her sixth month because nothing is impossible with God.’

‘God’s in charge,’ Mary answered. ‘If that’s what God wants, then it’s what I want to.’

Then the angel nicked off and left her alone.

Mary visits Elizabeth (Luke 1:39-56)
Mary didn’t muck about. She got packed and ankled it up to a town in the hills, where she went straight to Zeck and Libby’s place, so that she could say ‘G’day’ to Lib. When Libby heard Mary’s ‘Cooee’ at the front door the baby in her womb gave a kick like a footie player at a grand final, and Lib was filled with God’s Spirit. With a big grin, and a voice that could rattle windows, she said: ‘Good onya Mary! You beaut! God’s chosen you out of all the sheilas in the world, and your baby will be God’s toddler. But, stone the crows, why would the mum of my Big Boss, my Lord, come and see me’ As soon as I heard the sound of your voice my little bun in the oven went bananas with excitement. Good onya for believing what God told you’for believing that God can do what he says he can do.’

And then Mary said, ‘My soul is as happy as Larry with God and my mind is just buzzing with God my Rescuer because he picked me’me! And I’m about as important as a bottle washer’s assistant! But from now on everyone who ever lives will call me well off’looked after by God’for the One who can do anything has done great things for me. His name is the only Name that matters. His gentleness rolls on like a river. He has done great things that would just knock your socks off. The rich, the stuffed shirts, the boss cockies, don’t impress God; he knocks them off their perch. But those who don’t have tickets on themselves he gives a hand to. He provides tucker for the hungry and sends the toffee noses away without a feed. He has wrapped his great arms around his chosen. He hasn’t forgotten his kindness and gentleness. Exactly what he promised yonks ago is what is happening now.’

Mary stayed with Libby for a few months and then nicked off back home again.

John is born (Luke 1:57-66)
When her nine months were up Libby popped her sprog. The next-door neighbours and the rellies all heard that God had been kind to her, and were tickled pink.

On the 8th day they came to circumcise the little tyke (as the habit was in those days) and they were going to call him ‘Zeck’ after his Dad, but his mum spoke up and said, ‘Not on your Nellie. Call him ‘John’.’

They said, ‘But hang on’you haven’t got any rels named ‘John’.’

They made signs to Zeck, his Dad, to find out what handle he wanted to give the kid. He asked for a bit of paper and pencil, and he knocked them all for six when he scribbled down, ‘His name is ‘John’.’ At once Zeck could talk again, and then he couldn’t stop yabbering, saying how terrific God was. The next-door neighbours had the wind knocked right out of them by this, and soon the bush telegraph was full of it, and in the hill country it was all they talked about.

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