Haven’t had a lot of time for journaling lately. Lots of stuff to do. The last journal that I tried to record was accidentally canceled without saving. Bit of a bumber because I took about 2 hours on it and journaled some of the key issues in my life with a plan to improve, mainly revolving around time management. Oh well 😦 My conclusion was that I spend to a lot of time doing things that I consider less important, and hardly any time doing things that I consider the most important. Some of the big ones on the list are.
- Prayer. While going through Eph, Phil, Col, 1 Thess – I can see that the apostles invest alot of time into prayer. They are the ones who ask us to mimic them because they are confident regarding the working of the Holy Spirit in their lives. Naturally, I want to do, whatever they do under the will of God, to become as edified in Spirit as they are.
- Missional Evangelical Ministry. While doing a bit of self evaluation I noticed that Missional Evangelical Ministry (definition can be found in What is the Church – Part 3) pretty poor in my life considering how much time I spend learning about it. One of my resolutions was to spend more time with my brother Dave on Sunday arvos.
- Devoted Family time. This is pretty much a given. I feel like no matter how much time I give to my family, I can always give more effort to making that time more devoted – less distracted – quality time. It is difficult. Not because I on’t love my family or because my family doesn’t love me. More because sometimes the things that we know won’t just dissapear are the things that we make the low priority. Things are generally pretty good and there’s no real threat of instant chaos, so we let thing coast most of the time. The problem is, while I let my family time coast – I devote my other time with more intentional commitment (I’m naturally a busy person). Ergo, when the family really needs some devoted time – I’m not available right away.
There’s also the fact that – I work. Away from home. I can’t always be around when something special is happening like I could if I were home. Father, you know it is my will, but I pray for your will be done. If you please for me to work at home, that would make me jump for joy in the moment! I haven’t deserved a single thing you have given me yet Dad, so I am not too ashamed to ask for this – that I could work at home with my family, and spend more time with them. Amen.
Well the beginning of the week started out pretty badly. I was focused on my sin, not His grace. I was downcast and it probably showed. I was muttering self disappointment under my breath and shaking my head in dis-approval. What a waste of time! But the week has improved and I’m focused on God’s grace and love – it is sufficient for me. How silly I was to be so negative – although I do consider it a work of the Holy Spirit for me to grieve over sin as I read in… ☆ Cor 7:10. I don’t regret feeling sad about my sin. But I do regret spending so much time being grumpy because my sanctification is SO SLOW. Let God be praised with all my life. Let my life reflect glory to his will. To live or to die, to laugh or to hurt, to go or to stay – I hunger to please him with obedience and live in the joy of worshiping a Holy and Loving God!
My schedule has been a little messed up this week because I am starting P90x. A workout program that Spencer Hahn has burned for me. The program is great so far. That fact that it is burned, is not so great. I’m beginning to feel the weight of my conscious warning me that I have a responsibility to live holy. This is GREAT! What a fantastic weight to have on my conscious. Now, what to do about the program… I’m going to continue with one week. If it is worth it I will either buy it, or find someone else who has bought it that I can borrow it from. I know that there is quite a lot of people around town that have spare paid for copies.
Because of my out of routine week (thanks to P90x) I did my bible study in the Spirit square downtown, after work. It was so great that I came back today, and that is where I am now, after work. I enjoy being here at the spirit square because it represents the unified city of CR. And that is what I care about! Hopefully I’ll get some good opportunities to share the gospel as I hang here in the spirit square, cracking the word, and eeking a prayer here and there. It’s also a humbling reminder that, if I am going to live with my faith on display – I really need to pursue the holiness of Christ with diligence, so as to not lead people astray or to resentment because of hypo-criticism.
Dad, I pray for this city CR that you have sent me to. Thank you that your causing it to grow in my heart as a burden, that I might share that burden with you. I pray that you would lead me daily, to grow in faithfulness, that I might be a light to the lost around me. I pray that you would have mercy on these people, so that they might see your light and come under your love. Praise you for ALL things. Praise the name of Jesus Christ, through whom this prayer is made possible.